I never thought I would ever write a blog about this or frankly even tell people beyond my inner circle about this struggle. But here I am stepping out in obedience of what the Lord told me to write about. 

So here is it, the real and raw. 

I do not say any of this to glorify “diet culture” or what the shows/songs/magazines say you should look like or eating disorders, rather to glorify the Lord and his ability to heal and to share what He has done in my life and placed on my heart to share. 

We are engulfed in a society that thrives off of comparison and telling you that you need to look or be a certain way. I, unfortunately, fell into the enemies schemes in this area. 

I fell into the trap that I needed to be a certain way. I fell into the lie of not being enough. I fell into the stupid idea of pursuing a healthy diet so intensely that it became unhealthy leading to restriction. 

Throughout the Race the Lord has begun to redeem my relationship with food and body image. I let him into the deep wounds and past hurts and he laid his healing hands on me. He is making those wounds scars. This healing is a process, it is on his timing. It does not happen overnight but with time and patience. 

The Lord is continuing to reestablish my identity and foundation in him. He is redefining my identity in him. 

I was fearfully and wonderfully made and knit together in my mother womb - Psalm 139:13-14

I have been set free - John 8:36

I am God's handiwork created to do good works which God prepared in advance for me to do. - Ephesians 2:10

I was bought at a price, my body is a temple and will be a vessel to honor God. - 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 

The enemy is clever and uses our toxic society to create separate from our Creater. But there is hope! We have a God who heals and redeems and reconciles. So seek his face. Seek his love.